Challenge: Day 30

Get a Straight Razor Shave.

Oh, hello last day of the Be a Better Man Challenge. How nice to see you.

This might have to wait until next weekend. One, I have to find a place that does it. Two, my car is making funny noises so I don't feel like driving my car. Three, it's Sunday, aka football day. Besides, I shaved late yesterday so I'm not exactly at my furriest.

The challenged ended up meh. A lot like pancakes, fun at the beginning but you can't wait for them to be finished at the end (RIP Mitch Hedburg). I did like the music though. That was fun.

Challenge: Day 28

Conquer a Fear.

Clowns, failure, exotic fruits? How about failure. I'll get more done on my MBA application. WInner.

Challenge: Day 28

Write a Love Letter

Oh boy. I'm not exactly what you would call the romantic type. Not at all. This will be a huge surprise for Carlee. I think. She'll probably just call me cheesey. Whatever.

Challenge: Day 27

Start a Book.

Apparently, a lot of adults tend to not read. That's a shame. I like to read. It's relaxing and a great way to finish the day. I won't say that I read every night (because I certainly don't) and that I'm a particularly fast reader (I'm actually a very slow reader, but my comprehension and retention are stellar) but I do enjoy it.

Currently, I'm in and around page 100 of Infinite Jest. The story itself is 1000+ pages. This does not include the footnotes, of which there are many. Pretty good though after it took me 20 pages to get used to David Foster Wallace's fiction writing style.

Challenge: Day 26

Take The Marine Corp Fitness Test

Pushups, Situps and Running. No thanks. I'll stick to my squats and presses. Same difference.

Challenge: Day 25

Start a Debt Reduction Plan

Umm, I'm pretty much don't have debt. I don't have college loans and about the only thing that I owe $ on is my mortgage, which my wife and I are paying more than enough every month. The lottery is always an option, but that's just a tax on the stupid. Since I don't have uncontrollable debt I make it a point to put a lot into savings. About half of my paychecks go into savings. Seems like a good idea to me. Also, I hardly ever use my credit card. That's just how I roll.

Challenge: Day 24

Play!

Hooray. Play time. Super cool fun time. I'm headed to the gym today post-surgery (wisdom teeth, not exactly a big deal) and will play there. My mom is coming up to CT to watch Carlee's race tomorrow, maybe we'll play a game. If only I could get somebody to play watermelon with me while I was at work. That would be uber-sweet.

BALKANS - Let You Have It from Frank Broyles on Vimeo.

i thought this was funny

Challenge: Day 23

Learn a Manual Skill

Which should I learn. I can make a fire, chop wood and am pretty handy with a power drill. Maybe I should practice my tire rotation speed. That would be pretty sweet. Or maybe I could just get a zombie kit and learn how to use all of the stuff. Either way, if you have suggestions just post them in comments. Or don't. I don't really care.

Challenge: Day 22

Improve your posture.

So something happened, days were skipped on the AoM website. Oh well. I also missed about a week. I'm sorry I'm not sorry. Whatever, fuck it.

This is one that I like to pretend that I take care of. But I sit at a desk, literally all day. I try my best to do my mobility thanks to mobilitywod.com. I'm going to make a legitimate effort in improving my posture, to stay externally rotated in the shoulders (swimmers are notoriously internally rotated) and to not over-extend my back thanks to my tight psoas.

Challenge: Day 19

Write Your Own Eulogy.

Eff that. I'm not doing this one. What do you want me to say? He was born in New York, swam, got married, (maybe) had a bunch of kids, and then died. Let me actually do some living first. P.S. I'd prefer if my tombstone read something like this:

Challenge: Day 18

Schedule a Physical Exam

Well, before last year I hadn't seen a doctor in nearly six years. So that's probably why this is on the Man Month list. Whatever. I'll do it. I need my balls groped by an old lady while the nurse stands in the room to make sure no foul play occurs like I need chocolate chip pancakes. I want chocolate chip pancakes. What is she going to tell me? "Eric, you're pretty heavy." "Yeah, but I'm not fat and all of my blood numbers are within the healthy range." "Still, I want to see you give up red meat and chicken skins on them and to lose weight." "But I'm healthy, healthiest mutha fucka that this office has ever seen. I just also happen to have gigantic thighs and neck."

Yup, I can see where this is going.

Challenge: Day 17

Find Your N.U.T.s

Your Non-negotiable Unalterable Terms. I'm fairly lenient so I guess this might be a tough one for me. I guess they would be:

I will exercise 5 days per week barring a vacation or catastrophic event.

Punctuality is key. Being late is a sign to me that you don't give a fuck.

I will eat meat at 26/27 meals per week.

Not giving a fuck.

I guess that's a good start. I could add that I ought to be devoted to my wife, my work and blah, blah, blah. But whatever, that shit gets done even if I don't write it down. Whatever, fuck.

Challenge: Day 17

Talk to Strangers

Umm, I guess because i'm hardly kidnapable that it's ok now? Homie needs some more friends. Homie doesn't have the opportunity to talk to strangers, really. I literally spend every waking moment at work, the gym or with my wife. Just the social butterfly.

Challenge: Day 16

Create a Budget

How can I save more money? Easy; plan. How much should groceries cost me per week? How about regular expenses like my car payment, condo fee and the like. How about fun time? Movies, apple picking and maize mazes cost $. Duh. But to plan this within the context of bi-weekly pay checks is the trick. Save enough money for myself and the missus. With the economy in the tank and prospects for economic growth stagnant (trust me, I listen to NPR) it feels like people are on their own.

Challenge: Day 15

Make a Meal.

Perfect. I like to cook. All you need is meat, veggies and a starch, preferably potatoes, I love potatoes.

Challenge: Day 14

Write a Letter to Your Father

Yikes. My old man was/is pretty impressive. He's a professional jazz musician. He's an Eagle Scout and can literally paint an entire house in a weekend, prep and all. But, he was/is still a wonderful dad. We played catch, he was my woodwind teacher and now that I'm older we can share a beer and shoot the shit about how horrible the Mets are. The letter that I write will more than likely be a touch too personal for this blog. Although nobody reads it, there's a shot in hell that somebody could randomly find this POS.

So anyways, the Chinese train hard in weightlifting, huh?

Challenge: Day 13

Declutter Your Life.

Unknowingly did this yesterday. Did some weeding, vacuumed. The downstairs doesn't look like a disaster zone any more. Let's try and keep it that way.

In other news, today is the 10th anniversary of 9/11. Try and do something fun today. Call friends and family. In general, be a good person. Not that hard.

Challenge: Day 12

Create a Bucket List

Visit Norway, Sweden and Denmark

Become COO of Pepsico

Go to the Newport Jazz and Folk Festivals

Get my MBA, possibly PhD in finance (will lead to item #2)

Qualify for weightlifting nationals

Simple, straight forward, will take a shit ton of work. Whatever.

Easy there Dave

Challenge: Day 11

Give Myself a Testicular Exam

Done. Easy.

In other news, football is back. Hooray! I can forget about this atrocious Mets season.

This is a pretty rad Grateful Dead cover. Neato.

Challenge: Day 10

Memorize If by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream–and not make dreams your master,
If you can think–and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings–nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And–which is more–you’ll be a Man, my son!

People used to memorize things. This seems like something worthwhile to memorize. Maybe your mom's cell phone number? That might be good.